Friday, July 31, 2015

Blue is My New Favorite Color

Since this is my blog, I can rant a little from time to time.  It's been ten days since our dad died.  It has been full of ups and downs.  One day I feel at peace and happy with the fact he didn't suffer a lot, and he is with our mom.  Then other days I feel a big void in the house because we had such a good routine and now I don't have those things to tend to.  I think that is normal.  What isn't normal is how people take advantage of the bereaved.  My parents pre-paid their funeral expenses fifteen years ago.  Of course, prices have gone up during that time but that isn't our responsibility.  I guess the funeral company they worked with feels the need to make up some of the costs.  They padded the costs by trying to charge us for an urn that was already paid for.  I was told they couldn't proceed with cremation until I signed the statement they sent with the additional charge for the urn.  I feel they need to stand by their original agreement.  Now the person I talked to needs to consult with the accountant.  It is kind of like a car salesman going to check with the manager.  You know darn well they are just disappearing in the bathroom so it appears that they are trying to negotiate.  In addition, we were charged $300 to have a local funeral service hold dad overnight in their funeral home until the cremation people could get there.  I know it's a business and they have to make money too, but geez.

*I have to amend this previous paragraph.  Some of my complaints were listened to and whether it was miscommunication by them or me, we have resolved our issues.  The main funeral service has been very helpful going forward.  I am grateful for their help.

So even though I'm having a blue day, the blue theme keeps reoccurring to make everything better.  Tonight we are having a full moon called a Blue moon or the Blueberry moon.  It doesn't really look blue to me, but the sky does and that is good enough for me.  Maybe the moon is blue in some other part of the world. 

During dad's passing days, we saw a blue and black admiral butterfly constantly.  It was sitting on our front porch when he died.  I believe it was the spirit of our mom waiting for him.

Then the next morning a blue and black bluejay feather was perfectly placed in my path.

I have not seen that butterfly since.  I have seen many other butterflies, but not the blue and black one.  Apparently there is a book called Final Gifts and other books on that topic that I must get.  Through stories these books show us how to appreciate the ways in which the dying communicate their needs.  I think this happened to us many times through dad's final days.  I will keep the rest of those events private, but many things happened to make a believer out of me.

In following the happy blue theme, I am enjoying our resident bluebirds feeding another batch of young ones.  The first nest failed because of the wrens attacking the eggs.  The second nest produced five young bluebirds who have stayed in the area.  Now we have a nest of four baby bluebirds who are being fed by both parents.

One of the bluebirds parents waiting in the wings to feed the new babies.  A young one stands by ready to help.

I think it's amazing how they can fly off and come back with a fresh worm.

So yes I'm sad at times, but the blue sky, the blue moon, and the bluebirds are making me able to handle the challenges at hand.  I know my parents left us some Final Gifts to show us that everything is fine.  I do believe BLUE is my new favorite color.

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